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fasterfood:

imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine

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  • #matthew
  • 3 weeks ago
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lill-ac:

maybe if you came and fell asleep next to me I wouldn’t be so sad

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  • #yes #I want #I want you #matthew
  • 3 weeks ago
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watermellyn:

look at this dog baby

Because puppies need to be on everyone’s blog.

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  • #puppy #puppies #dog #doggies #dogs #life #love #cute #adorable #baby animals #baby
  • 3 weeks ago
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ayomxmuzix:

Book turnoff: When an author introduces too many characters at once.

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People think a soul-mate is a perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul-mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you back to your own attention so you can change your life. A soul-mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so that new light can enter, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.

(via wofew)
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  • #matthew
  • 3 weeks ago
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eiffeled:

A person’s tumblr tells a lot about them. It shows what kind of images they see in their head, who they love, who they hate, even what they think about other people.

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thefasstimes:

“isn’t that a little gay” my friend asks

“yes” i respond as i look at the miniature homosexual sitting on my desk “it is”

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